Monday, January 7, 2008

YES, I HAVE BEEN HIDING

Definitions for this post:
Sick=the person with the biological problem.
SMI= seriously mentally ill

For the last few days, I have been hiding. I have grounded myself to my bedroom except for a few trips to the kitchen and the computer. This has been for the good of everyone living with me, including myself! The problem has been that I am out of some medications I take. This is because of a series of comical errors on the part of me and the doctor’s office since September!! I won’t go into the errors! I confess that I am classified SMI and have been since I was very young.

Usually this isn’t a problem! I always take my meds, I watch for signs of problems and act on them quickly, and I have a crisis plan in place that I use at times like these. Having dealt with this “horrible monster” for a long time, I have come to some conclusions.


1-The “sick” one has a serious responsibility to do everything possible to stay healthy!!!!! *****!!!!!

2-The “sick” one has to figure out what “healthy” means to them and those they live and work with.

3-NEVER, NEVER make any kind of decisions while you are not “healthy”!

4- SIT DOWN FACING THE DIRECTION YOU WANT TO GO and STAY there until the crisis has passed. This means that you need to keep your eye on your long-term goals even when things are really, really bad. I believe that you have no chance of actually reaching those goals if you take your eye off of them when things are difficult.

5- Have faith in God. Then have more faith!

I have a theme song that I pull out at times like these. If you read the words and apply them to what goes on INSIDE of someone, you will get a small glimpse of what these times can be like. And why I hide out during times like this. It comes from the Hymnal used by The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

Master, The Tempest Is Raging

Master, the tempest is raging!
The billows are tossing high!
The sky is o’ershadowed with blackness.
No shelter or help is nigh.
Carest thou not that we perish?
How canst thou lie asleep
When each moment so madly is threat’ning
A grave in the angry deep?
*
Master, with anguish of spirit
I bow in my grief today.
The depths of my sad heart are troubled.
Oh, waken and save, I pray!
Torrents of sin and of anguish
Sweep o’er my sinking soul,
And I perish! I perish! dear Master.
Oh, hasten and take control!
*
[Chorus]
The winds and the waves shall obey thy will:
Peace, be still.
Whether the wrath of the storm-tossed sea
Or demons or men or whatever it be,
No waters can swallow the ship where lies
The Master of ocean and earth and skies.
They all shall sweetly obey thy will:
Peace, be still; peace, be still.
They all shall sweetly obey thy will:
Peace, peace, be still.
*
Master, the terror is over.
The elements sweetly rest.
Earth’s sun in the calm lake is mirrored,
And heaven’s within my breast.
Linger, O blessed Redeemer!
Leave me alone no more,
And with joy I shall make the blest harbor
And rest on the blissful shore.

Hymns of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, no. 105
I never know how long it will take to get to “that blissful shore”, but I do know it is there. That’s a great deal more than some people know!

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