Friday, February 12, 2010

Every so often

Many of you know that I am classified SMI because of being Bi-Polar, having panic attacks, and a few other little things thrown in to make life interesting.

Like a good girl, I take medications to help the chemicals in my brain to come to “normal” levels where I can function pretty well most of the time. With that in mind, every new year brings the possibility that the insurance’s drug formulary may change WITHOUT NOTICE. So for the last few weeks I have been getting use to a new medication to replace one that was taken off the formulary.

This process is NO FUN! Anyone who has ever been on these meds knows that it is a “trial & error” kind of thing to find the right meds and the right dosages. So while this process is taking place, you are basically a basket case! All the chemicals go out of whack pretty quick! You are trying to function in your everyday life and, all of a sudden, your brain is on the wrong track heading for an oncoming train!

It takes a lot of self-discipline to realize that the train is an illusion!

As many times as I have gone through this process, it never gets easier! I do understand the process better, but it is still tough. I understand that my perceptions will be distorted and my emotions will be all over the place. I understand that this is part of the process. I understand that there is no other way to do this (YET).

So, if someday you notice that I am not answering my phone, or not going someplace that I usually go, or not doing the hobbies I love; feel free to ask if my meds are changing!  I'll only bite off your head  ;O

You might also give TK a pat on the back!  He lives with 2 of use that go through this.  He is the most understanding and loving husband & father, even through the yucky times.

This picture is of me wearing bull horns, which fits me right now, don't you think?  These were made for me by one of my sisters.